I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She's like a pop up book from hell.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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