Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
