I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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