Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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