I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
