She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
