omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
