i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize