Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
