her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
It's official drugs can't kill me
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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