No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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