Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
