so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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