with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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