On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
