thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
