Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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