i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
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