We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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