apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize