oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
