I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
