He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
