We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
