haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
