sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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