..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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