So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
