I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
