Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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