I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
