This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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