Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
