he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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