I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize