I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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