Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
