i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
he high fived his dick after we had sex
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
