i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
