he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
