that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
