a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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