I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
