woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize