He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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