Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
