would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
