Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
