found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
cat food counts as protein by the way
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
