that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
