Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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