She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
