no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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