I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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