i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
