help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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