I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
barbara walters just said penis...
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
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